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What does a sex therapist do?
I wish more people knew that sex therapists exist and the amazing work that we do. Yes we talk about sex but as we all know sex does not occur in a bubble, it exists within the context of your life. We incorporate the work of relationship and couples couselling and all of the individual factors that affect a persons sexual scenario.

Why do I raise this?

Once a week I have couples come in who are currently in therapy with another counsellor and they come to me to talk about sex! I am not complaining, this is brilliant as they are empowered enough to seek out the guidance and pathway that will nurture their needs.

I am definitely not thinking anything negative towards the counsellors themselves as they are doing amazing work. My peeve exists because government health promotion takes a disease-orientated approach to funding sexual health issues.

The needs of those members of our community are great, however my desire is for sexual health to be viewed as a real health issue where prevention and harm minimization of all sexual health related issues are funded, respected and promoted as being very real and an important health concern.

By not acknowledging this we are affecting the help seeking behaviours of so many.
In the past two years alone I have met at least 6 women who have vaginismus. They have been unable to consummate their relationships/marriages, as penetration remains impossible. They have been married e.g. 6 yrs/ 15 yrs/ 20 yrs.

What is common is that they did not know what was wrong with them; they thought they were insane and broken. Those who dared to seek help were often made to feel bad, ashamed and were misdiagnosed (based on my clients - not people in general).
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As you can see, our silence surrounding the topic of sex affects the information that other health care practitioners provide.  The taboo and silence re sex affects us more than you know.

I know that people are not running around saying -
OMG I have this awesome sex therapist!!
Well actually it would be very awesome if you would do that :)

So while we wait for the world to catch on to this and loose their fear related to the word sex, lets let people know that they do not need to be embarrassed or ashamed. They do not need to live with something for 15 yrs prior to seeking help.

We are here for them, we are here for you!




 


Comments

thomas
01/15/2012 21:04

i hate sex and love hating it. i love female feet.

Reply
Fai
01/15/2012 21:31

Hi Thomas,

My email also has the line....
Is Something wrong with this comment?

We could definitely have a long discussion in search of why you might hate it, did something happen to make you feel this way, is it the emotional side of sex, are you able to experience pleasure...many questions come to mind.

Do enjoy hanging out with people?

Those who love feel get it :) Do you get to play with real feet or do you stick to images...

Ultimately, if you are truly happy with how things are and don't wish to change them and they are not affecting your relationships, then you get to own your choices and enjoy them.

However if you decide that you are no longer happy then you can embark on a pathway towards shifting your beliefs and experiences.

Thanks for sharing,

Fai.

Reply



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