I wish more people knew that sex therapists exist and the amazing work that we do. Yes we talk about sex but as we all know sex does not occur in a bubble, it exists within the context of your life. We incorporate the work of relationship and couples couselling and all of the individual factors that affect a persons sexual scenario.

Why do I raise this?

Once a week I have couples come in who are currently in therapy with another counsellor and they come to me to talk about sex! I am not complaining, this is brilliant as they are empowered enough to seek out the guidance and pathway that will nurture their needs.

I am definitely not thinking anything negative towards the counsellors themselves as they are doing amazing work. My peeve exists because government health promotion takes a disease-orientated approach to funding sexual health issues.

The needs of those members of our community are great, however my desire is for sexual health to be viewed as a real health issue where prevention and harm minimization of all sexual health related issues are funded, respected and promoted as being very real and an important health concern.

By not acknowledging this we are affecting the help seeking behaviours of so many.
In the past two years alone I have met at least 6 women who have vaginismus. They have been unable to consummate their relationships/marriages, as penetration remains impossible. They have been married e.g. 6 yrs/ 15 yrs/ 20 yrs.

What is common is that they did not know what was wrong with them; they thought they were insane and broken. Those who dared to seek help were often made to feel bad, ashamed and were misdiagnosed (based on my clients - not people in general).
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As you can see, our silence surrounding the topic of sex affects the information that other health care practitioners provide.  The taboo and silence re sex affects us more than you know.

I know that people are not running around saying -
OMG I have this awesome sex therapist!!
Well actually it would be very awesome if you would do that :)

So while we wait for the world to catch on to this and loose their fear related to the word sex, lets let people know that they do not need to be embarrassed or ashamed. They do not need to live with something for 15 yrs prior to seeking help.

We are here for them, we are here for you!

I have decided to share the newsletter that I received from the Institute of Noetic Science. Remember giving does not need to cost anything, giving your time, attention and love is a beautiful git to give!

At this time of year, it’s especially clear that how and where we direct our intentions—and our dollars—has immediate impacts on ourselves and the causes we support.

Researchers in the field of consciousness studies have found that giving is good for you—for your health, your happiness, and your sense of purpose!

Consciousness research, which has been studying the science of giving for decades, has taught us that giving and receiving are among the most healing expressions that humans can make. They can help heal the separateness we often feel from ourselves, each other, and the environment.

According to IONS-sponsored research, acts of altruism can elicit a positive immune system response:

• Dr. Jeff Levin, an epidemiologist, found that a correlation exists between almost every dimension of love and patients’ descriptions of better health, more positive emotional well–being, higher self–esteem, and a sense of personal control in their lives.


• Results of IONS’ Compassionate Intention Study suggest that loving or compassionate intention can influence a person’s physiology, ranging from brain activity measurements to skin conductance. 

Research by IONS colleague Dr. Stephen Post, professor of bioethics at Case Western Reserve University and president of the Institute for Research on Unlimited Love, suggests a strong correlation between a person’s well-being and their inclination toward altruistic acts.

An especially compelling study conducted by Dr. Dean Ornish demonstrated that feelings of increased interconnectedness with others can change gene expression, making relationships critical to health and well–being.

Your contribution to IONS helps bring these ideas into the world. Be part of this new story of our human potential by giving to an organization that supports the advancement of our fundamental interconnectedness!

Happy Holidays,
Marilyn Schlitz, Ph.D
IONS President / CEO